Most authors begin writing as a solitary pursuit. As they begin to think of writing as more than a hobby, many realize they do not know other writers or professional authors who earn a living from their work. What’s more, they rarely know how to begin to connect with publishing industry professionals such as cover designers, editors, marketers, bookstore buyers, and others.

So how do you go from a solitary outsider to a connected insider who knows these people?

Our guest today is award-winning indie author and host of The Self-Publishing with Dale Podcast and the Dale L. Roberts YouTube channel.

Why are authors uncomfortable with the term “networking”?

Thomas: The exercise of winning friends and influencing people is often called networking, so why are many authors uncomfortable with that term?

Dale: It sounds very business-oriented. When people hear networking, they brace themselves. But if you say, “make friends,” people are more open. Networking has picked up a negative connotation, as if it requires a lot of effort or manipulation, but it really does not. You do not need Jedi mind tricks, and it does not have to consume a huge amount of your time as an author.

Does being an introvert make networking harder?

Thomas: A lot of authors use introversion as an excuse. Writing is one of the most introverted professions there is. Truly extroverted authors are rare. Networking has very little to do with whether an activity gives you energy or drains you.

Psychologically, introversion and extroversion describe whether you gain or lose energy from being around people. That has nothing to do with the skill of interacting with others. Some people feel energized and are terrible at it, while others feel drained and are excellent at it.

Networking is a skill, like any other part of a job. Learning to be kind, friendly, and influential is a skill anyone can practice and improve.

Dale: Many people can’t believe I’m introverted because I’ve been on YouTube for nine years, but I am. Talking to a camera is relatively easy once you get some repetitions in. Put me in a conference environment, though, and it is draining.

Thomas: I came from the business and political worlds, both of which place a heavy emphasis on networking. I had a lot of formal training before entering publishing. Even though I am slightly more introverted than extroverted, that training helped a lot.

When I started in publishing, I was a twenty-two-year-old who knew no one and was often twenty or thirty years younger than the median age at conferences. I did not have much in common with most attendees, so I relied heavily on networking principles to make those early connections.

Networking is about sowing first and reaping second. It means doing favors for others first. Sometimes that “favor” is as simple as remembering someone’s name.

I realized that many authors needed help with technology, and that was a “favor” I could offer. At conferences, that often meant giving free advice or helping someone connect to the Wi-Fi. By being genuinely helpful, I found the place where my skills overlapped with other people’s needs. That naturally led to deeper conversations.

I did not start as a marketing expert. I started as the technology guy. Over time, people began asking me for marketing help as well. I spent almost five years helping authors with marketing before I ever started this podcast.

Podcasting became one of my first recommendations. If you do not know where to start, launching a podcast is a great way to meet people.

You can invite someone by saying, “Would you like to be a guest on my podcast?” or “Would you like to be introduced to my audience?” Most authors can’t say no to that.

Dale: I tell people all the time that I bring on guests who know more than I do because I get free coaching.

Networking Tip #1: Write it Down

Dale: I have a practical tip for people with bad memories, because mine is terrible.

When I meet someone, I try to say their name three times during the conversation. Then I politely tell them I am going to jot something down so that I don’t forget. I record their name and a few details about what they do or how they look.

That way, when I review my notes later, I can quickly remember who they are. I also collect business cards, though I rarely use them directly. Some people use an app to scan and organize business cards.

Do not leave networking to memory. Write things down. Use your phone, a notebook, or anything. I have missed great connections because I forgot someone’s name and never found them again.

Thomas: One advantage of conferences is that most have large, prominent name badges. One thing we learned between the first and second year of the Novel Marketing Conference was to increase the font size of the first name on the badge.

Now the name tag is about 50% first name, so you can see it from a distance. It seems subtle and even a little silly, but it makes a real difference. When you are meeting many new people, being able to see a large first name helps you remember it. For some people, seeing the name visually reinforces memory.

Dale: For people with a more visual or photographic memory, name badges go a long way. I will see someone again at a conference, glance at their badge, and think, “Oh, Judy.” Then I can say, “Hey Judy, how’s it going?”

Thomas: I also recommend using business cards and leaving the back blank with a matte finish so you can write notes on them.

Networking Tip #2: Schedule a Recovery Day

Thomas: Another great tip is to schedule a recovery day after a conference. Block it off completely. Most of us need at least a day to recover.

Then schedule a specific follow-up day, perhaps the Tuesday after the conference, to review and act on those business cards. Authors come home with good intentions, but exhaustion sets in. Tomorrow becomes next week, and before long, the cards are forgotten.

Networking is about ongoing relationships, not brief encounters. Knowing a few people well is far more valuable than knowing many people casually. One meeting at a conference is not enough. Follow-up emails and continued correspondence are essential.

Whether you use paper cards, scanned cards, or digital contact exchanges, networking only works if you schedule the time to follow up.

Dale: I usually follow up within one to two weeks. The important thing is to find a follow-up system you will actually use. Meeting someone once a year is not enough to build a relationship. You have to foster it.

Networking Tip #3: Schedule Follow-Up Conversations

Dale: Your follow-up does not need to be awkward. I usually say something simple like, “It was great meeting you. Would you like to grab a virtual cup of coffee next Tuesday?” It just needs to spark the next conversation.

Thomas: It depends on what the next step is. Back when I ran a website business for authors, my follow-up was an offer for a free marketing consultation. I would review their website, do an audit, and give a lot of advice. It was a chance to get to know each other and see if we were a good fit to work together.

After those consultations, the person would almost always say, “Thank you so much for your time,” which is a great thing to hear in a sales interaction because it means they felt they received real value.

It also helped me improve quickly because I saw so many author websites and talked with so many authors about what they were trying, what was working, and what was not.

Networking Tip #4: Offer Something

Thomas: I think it helps to offer some kind of gift that the other person actually wants to receive. That gift might be a podcast interview, a free consultation, or even a reader magnet. If your reader magnet is a short story, it can be a little trickier, but if they are into your kind of fiction, it can be a great fit.

That is where notes on the back of a business card are really helpful. Maybe you have three or four different gifts you can offer, depending on who the person is.

Sometimes the gift is an introduction. For example, “Dale, you mentioned you’re looking for a cover designer. I know someone who would be a great fit.” Then you send an email saying, “Dale, meet Joe. Joe, meet Dale.” That kind of introduction email is powerful for networking.

You do not always have to be the person with the answers. Sometimes you can simply send a podcast episode that addresses the question. These days, that is almost always my follow-up. If someone mentions a challenge, I can often send them an episode I recorded a couple of years ago on that exact topic. Your follow-up will depend on who you are and what you have to offer.

Learn more about reader magnets in the following episodes:

Networking Tip #5: Don’t Stress

Dale: Follow-up is extremely important, but do not feel stressed about it. Sometimes relationships do not pan out right away, but they may pan out later.

I used to work in healthcare, and my boss, Rod Bailey, was an incredible connector. Everywhere we went in Phoenix, someone knew Rod. He knew everyone.

I asked him, “How do you remember all these people?” He said, “It will come to you when you need it, but if you keep practicing, you’ll get it.”

You can also be a conduit in your network. You do not always need to have something for that person in the moment. But later, you might remember, “Oh yeah, I know a cover designer,” and make a connection.

The biggest issue is that people try networking for only a short time, then disappear and conclude, “Networking doesn’t work.” Of course, it will not work if you are not practicing consistently.

When is someone not a good fit for your network?

Thomas: It is not often that I categorize someone as “not a good fit” across the board. For me, that usually means there was a character issue or something that makes them untrustworthy. If I catch someone lying about something, that is a major red flag. If I cannot trust you about something I know you lied about, I cannot trust you in general, and I certainly will not recommend you.

Integrity matters. Networking is built on trust. You cannot go back on your word.

Beyond character, the other factor is competence. But just because someone is not competent in one area does not mean they are incompetent in every area.

Just because a fish cannot ride a bicycle does not mean it is not good at something. It is good at swimming. Sometimes it is just a matter of discovering where someone is competent. Even if someone is not very competent yet, they can learn. I can connect them with opportunities to learn.

As a teacher, I try not to hold someone’s ignorance against them. If no one were ignorant, I would not have a job.

Dale: Competence is not the issue for me. I do not know anything about sports. If someone introduced me as a sports expert, I would be completely lost. But if someone wants to talk about YouTube or self-publishing, I am ready to go.

The people who frustrate me are the blowhards, the ones who dominate the conversation, or the ones who shove their business card into your hand two seconds after meeting you. But those situations are rare. I cannot think of anyone I have met who was a liar, but maybe I have just forgotten about them.

What tools make follow-up easier?

Thomas: One practical tool I use constantly is Calendly. I use the paid version, but there are a lot of good competitors too. I like Calendly because I can create multiple calendars with different rules.

I have one calendar for Novel Marketing, another for The Christian Publishing Show, and another link for guests in faraway time zones. When I invite someone to be on the show, I send a Calendly link that shows times that work for me, and they pick what works for them.

If someone lived in Singapore and none of the normal times worked, I would send a different link with extended hours. It would be inconvenient for me, but less inconvenient for them.

I also have Calendly links for getting coffee or lunch, with different rules. It allows me to send the right link based on the nature of the relationship. In the author world, it is usually virtual, over Zoom.

Calendly handles time zone conversions. Time zones get confusing because not every place handles daylight saving time the same way.

My co-host for Author Update, Jonathan Sugar, lives in Arizona. Arizona doesn’t do daylight saving time, which means the time difference between us changes during the year. Keeping up with that is annoying, and it is great to have software that automatically converts and schedules correctly.

It gets even worse internationally. The UK changes daylight saving time on different dates than the U.S., so the relationship between time zones changes depending on the time of year. It is very confusing.

If you use a tool like Calendly, you do not have to worry about it. If you use a digital calendar, Calendly can also see when you are busy and block those times. You can set rules like no calls after 6:00 p.m., no calls before 11:00 a.m., or no calls on Mondays. It is powerful and flexible. Calendly was one of the first, and there are lots of alternatives now.

I also connect Calendly with TextExpander. I can type a shortcut, and it inserts the Calendly link with a few paragraphs of text. Then I tweak it for the person. It makes scheduling fast and avoids the endless email back-and-forth about who can and can’t meet when.

Dale: When I first started getting into the YouTube business realm around 2017, a friend of mine, Kevin Tumlinson, sent me a Calendly link when I asked to have him on my show. At first, I was slightly offended. I wondered if he was brushing me off.

But I went with it and later asked him about it. He said, “Do you like doing email tag? Because I don’t.” That was a big lightbulb moment for me.

Calendly was one of the first tools I used. Later, I found a similar scheduling tool through AppSumo called Harmonizely. It eventually got acquired by SimplyBook.me, but it still works the same way. I paid a one-time fee for lifetime access, and it has been great. You can set different calendars, limit appointments to one per day, set specific windows, all of that. It is a game-changer.

Thomas: The free version of Calendly gives you one calendar. AppSumo seems to release a new Calendly competitor every six months because building a basic scheduling tool is not especially complicated for a developer. The complexity comes from edge cases, and that is where Calendly really shines.

I bought a lifetime deal for a Calendly competitor on AppSumo, but I eventually went back to Calendly because I needed their feature for different locations for different types of events. I wanted coffee meetings to point to my coffee shop, lunch meetings to a specific restaurant, and studio sessions for Novel Marketing to be different from the studio sessions for The Christian Publishing Show. That flexibility mattered.

Calendly also lets you collect information from people ahead of time, which is helpful. More importantly, interacting face to face, even over Zoom, is essential.

I do not consider wishing someone a happy birthday on social media to be networking. Posting “Happy Birthday” on LinkedIn is not networking. Real networking involves phone calls, Zoom calls, or group calls.

Networking Tip #6: Continue Group Meetings After Events

Thomas: Another pro tip is to continue meeting as a group after an event. At the Novel Marketing Conference, writers are placed into small groups by genre. Some of those groups decide to keep meeting on Zoom after the conference just to stay connected.

One thirty-minute or one-hour call each month is far more valuable than dozens of hours liking posts on Instagram. That kind of face-to-face interaction is much more meaningful and powerful, especially when it builds on a real-life event.

When should you make introductions within your network?

Thomas: I make introductions as soon as I feel confident it will benefit both people. I do not like gatekeeping, but if the introduction only benefits one person, I usually hold off until I know them better.

There is a certain amount of matchmaking involved. If an editor is looking for work and an author is looking for an editor, and I believe they will be a good fit, I will make the introduction. If a podcaster is looking for a specific type of guest and I find that guest, I will connect them.

As my audience has grown and Author Media Social now includes thousands of people, this has become trickier. Many people know me, but I do not know them as well, which makes it harder to vouch for individuals. Because of that, I have created spaces where people can connect on their own.

For example, we have a job board on Author Media Social. Anyone can post a job or list what they offer, and it is free. I make no promises. Do your due diligence. If something does not work out, that is not on me.

That said, I still enjoy making introductions when there is a clear and specific fit.

Recently, I worked with an author who had very specialized typesetting needs, far beyond what tools like Vellum can handle, particularly for Bible-related projects. I happened to know one of the leading experts in Bible typography and complex typesetting. It was an obvious fit, so I was happy to make that introduction, and I hope it benefited both of them.

Networking Tip #7: Use Best Practices When Making Introductions

Dale: That is a powerful example. Some authors wonder what they gain by making introductions, but you end up pooling networks and resources.

I have a funny story that illustrates a mistake I made early on. When I first got into podcasting, I had two friends, both authors. One had a YouTube channel where he interviewed authors, and the other was a successful, prolific author.

The podcaster told me he needed guests, and I immediately thought of the successful author. I was excited and made the introduction without checking with the successful author first. I sent an email saying, “Author A, meet Author B.”

At first, everything seemed fine. But a few weeks later, the successful author contacted me and was furious. On the day of the interview, the podcaster had an emergency involving a pet and had to cancel. The author did not accept that explanation and accused the podcaster of being unprofessional.

It turned out the author already knew of this podcaster and did not like him. I had made a blind introduction without laying any groundwork. Ever since then, I have been much more cautious. If someone asks to meet you, Thomas, I am not going to make that introduction without checking with you first.

How do introductions change as authors become more successful?

Thomas: That is a great example of how the rules change as someone becomes more well-known. A New York Times bestselling author who sells hundreds of thousands of copies receives more requests than they can possibly fulfill. Their inbox is overwhelming.

If you are friends with someone at that level and want to make an introduction, you have to vet carefully. Otherwise, your email just becomes one more request in a very large pile. You need to explain how the introduction will benefit them.

If you are just getting started and are not yet connecting with bestselling authors, one of the best gifts you can give is to buy and read their book. Then email them with thoughtful feedback. For most authors, that is their love language. It is why they got into this business.

It also forces you to read widely. Some authors avoid reading books in their genre because they think it will protect their voice. That is not how it works.

You need to read classics, bestsellers, and books on craft. Those are the three categories every author should be reading, along with books from other authors in your genre. You do not have to love everything, but you should be able to find something you appreciate and mention it. That kind of thoughtful engagement keeps the conversation going.

How do you fill gaps in your network?

Thomas: What are some other tips for building a network, especially if you notice a gap? For example, you might know plenty of authors, but no editors, or you cannot find a cover designer. How do you fill those holes?

Dale: I start by asking people in my existing peer network. If I am part of an author community or a niche group, I will simply ask for referrals. “Does anyone have recommendations for X, Y, or Z?” Nothing is off the table.

The challenge comes after you get those recommendations. Sometimes people will make the introduction for you. Other times, you have to reach out yourself, which is not my favorite approach, but I have met great people that way. It often starts with a simple conversation that eventually leads to something meaningful.

Networking Tip #8: Set Networking Goals

Thomas: One thing that really helps at conferences is knowing who you are looking for and writing it down. For example, you might say, “My goal at this conference is to meet at least three editors I could audition for my book.”

Often, the reason you are not finding what you need is that you have not clearly defined it. Saying, “I want to be more connected in the industry,” is vague. How do you know when you have achieved that?

A clearer goal might be, “I want to collect business cards from three literary agents at this conference.” That kind of specificity helps.

It also comes up naturally in conversation. If you are talking with another author and enjoying the discussion, you can say, “By the way, who did the cover for your book? I love it.” That is one of the best ways to find a cover designer. You are starting with a book you already like in a similar genre.

Often the response is, “Here’s who I used. They were great. Let me give you their email.” Most cover designers are happy to receive referrals.

Referrals help everyone involved. The designer gets a warmer lead, the author feels helpful, and the relationship strengthens on all sides.

Networking Tip #9: Be Generous

Thomas: When it comes to making connections, I encourage you to resist the mindset of “What can I get out of this?”

Constantly calculating personal gain will make networking feel unpleasant unless you are completely disconnected emotionally.

The right posture is generosity. You want to give first, but you also need to be willing to ask. This was a lesson I had to learn because giving came easily to me, while asking was harder.

There is a helpful book called Give and Take that uses the metaphor of breathing. You have to breathe out and breathe in. You have to give, but you also have to ask. You might say, “Could you introduce me to this person?” People are far more likely to help if you have been generous with them.

Do not say, “You owe me.”

That transactional mindset is not how this works. People naturally feel a sense of reciprocity. When someone does something meaningful for you, most people want an opportunity to return the favor. It is not about keeping score. Keeping score will make you miserable.

If you want to make the world better, be generous. Give more than you ask for, but do not be afraid to ask. If you never ask, you will eventually run dry. You need both sides of the equation.

Some people only take. Others only give. The goal is balance, but not in a strict accounting sense. You might never receive something directly from the person you helped. Instead, the benefit may come through someone else entirely. Life is messier than simple cause and effect.

Networking Tip #10: Network for The Long Haul

Dale: There are a lot of nuances to this. Authors need to understand that networking is a long game. If you stay focused on that long game, it will pay off in significant ways over time.

You have to trust the process and be consistent. A lot of people say, “I went to one conference.” That’s great, but what did you do afterward? Did you follow up with the people you met? Did you connect with their peers?

Focus on the long game. Give generously, but also ask when it is appropriate.

I recently closed a Kickstarter campaign, and I truly believe its success came largely from the strength of my network. I was able to reach out and say, “I’m running this Kickstarter and would appreciate your help.” Everyone was supportive and willing to share, which made a huge difference.

I try not to abuse that goodwill. I never want to be the person who only takes. I love giving, and I especially love making introductions. There is a real satisfaction in connecting people.

Recently, I introduced a representative from ProWritingAid to another company, DALL·E Create. That connection will likely lead to a strong partnership. Does it benefit me directly right now? Probably not. But seeing two brands and partners connect and build something meaningful together is incredibly rewarding and valuable in the long run.

Networking Tip #11: Know Your Networking Strengths

Thomas: Another networking book that really influenced me was The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell. One of the concepts he talks about, which connects directly to what you were saying, is the language of connectors, mavens, and salespeople. Those are three different roles you can fill in a networking environment.

A connector is exactly what you described. It’s someone with a large network who connects people with each other. I struggle with that role because I don’t naturally have a huge network, and I’m not naturally inclined toward being a connector.

Where I tend to fit better is the maven role, which is basically a nice term for a nerd. A maven is someone who studies a topic intensely. I recently researched the Amazon algorithm. I spent weeks watching researchers explain cutting-edge machine learning so I could understand the algorithm as thoroughly as possible. I tend to function more as a maven.

The third role is the salesperson, someone who is especially persuasive. That’s often what people picture when they think about networking, and it matters, but it’s only one of the three roles. Some people can do more than one. People who are excellent at networking often do at least two of these well, sometimes all three.

Knowing which role you lean toward, and leaning into it, is better than forcing yourself into a role that doesn’t fit. If you’re not naturally persuasive, you can partner with someone who is. If you’re not a nerd about websites, you can hire a webmaster. You don’t have to be a maven about every topic. Trying to be an expert at everything is exhausting.

Networking Tip #12: Read Networking Books

Thomas: I encourage you to read books on networking, such as the following:

The Tipping Point by Malcolm Gladwell
Give and Take by Adam Grant
How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie
The Go-Giver by Burg and Mann
Networking for Authors by Dale Roberts

One of the key areas where they all agree is the attitude of generosity. What you give may look different depending on your role. A maven gives knowledge. A connector gives introductions. But both are giving something.

Sometimes what you give is simple encouragement. That is one of the easiest ways to get started, offering encouragement and speaking life into someone’s work. That may be exactly what they need, and you may be uniquely positioned to provide it.

Tell us about Networking for Authors.

Dale: Networking for Authors takes everything I’ve learned over more than a decade in this business, plus what I learned in the healthcare industry before that, where networking was a huge part of how I secured grants, volunteers, and resources.

I used to be an activities director working with seniors. I was essentially paid to create experiences and build community. I went to Chamber of Commerce meetings, local meetups, and networking events all the time. I was able to suppress my introverted side because I was getting paid. I told myself, “I’m not being paid to be introverted.”

Networking for Authors breaks it down, including my trials and tribulations, and even that story I shared earlier about the author who was furious when I made a blind introduction to a podcaster.

Thomas: I also like that this book is specifically for indie authors because many author networking books focus entirely on getting an agent, as if everything revolves around signing with an agent. There is so much more to being an author than signing with an agent.

Dale: Yeah, there’s nothing about agents in there.

What if you want to network for traditional publishing?

Thomas: If you’re going traditional, I would recommend getting a book on writing a proposal. Almost every proposal-writing book includes a section on networking and meeting agents.

The short version is you go to conferences and meet agents with the same approach of generosity and listening. Agents are people, too. They’re not a different species.

To learn more about networking for traditional publishing, check out the following episodes:

Bonus Networking Tip: Keep Going

Dale: Never give up. Stay consistent with networking. If you want results, you have to keep showing up.

At the same time, remember that you will need to recharge your batteries. You will need recovery time. Give yourself that breathing room.

Don’t approach networking like, “I have to.” Instead, think, “I get to.” You can connect with people who can help your business over the long term. You just have to stick with it.

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1 Comment

Erin K. Casey on January 7, 2026 at 4:30 pm

Really great advice! Conferences have been an invaluable part of my writing career and professional development. I’ve traveled far and wide to attend in-person conferences and am launching the Texas Christian Writers’ Conference this spring to bring authors and industry professionals together a little closer to home.