Many authors feel stuck. They’re toiling away in obscurity, and none of their promotion efforts seem to go anywhere.

Success in publishing is as much about who you know as what you know. And sometimes, the lack of knowing the right people keeps you from finding success.

The AI robot uprising has not come. Not yet. We still live in a world that’s run by human people, and your connection to those humans will lead to your success. If the word networking makes you feel awkward or makes you think of awkward small talk, think again. At its heart, networking is about one thing: relationships.

Networking is about connecting, serving, and building trust with your fellow human beings. It’s easier to connect with humans than to hack some algorithm. Your ancestors have been successfully connecting with fellow human beings since the dawn of time.

So, how do you network with other influencers, authors, industry professionals, and customers at the bookstore? How do you network in a way that makes you and the person you’re connecting with feel amazing?

I asked Steve Garraty. He’s spent more than 20 years in sales and leadership. He coaches and develops others to thrive, and he is the author of the upcoming book Greatfruit: How Cancer Led to Living a More Fruitful Life. His book is currently live on Kickstarter and has raised over $10,000 in preorders.

Thomas: Aren’t some people just born good at networking, and everyone else is doomed to fail at networking?

Steve: Some people have the gift of gab, but networking is a skill you can learn. Over time, I’ve become good at networking, and other people can learn to network, too.

Thomas: If people are born naturally good at networking, they’re definitely not my kids. I’ve had to teach all my children how to make friends on the playscape. It’s not something that comes naturally, even when they want to connect with others. One of their favorite playscapes has an old-fashioned gravel base, and the first lesson I have to teach my children is not to throw gravel at the other kids. They’re not going to want to be your friends if you’re pelting them with gravel.

This might seem like an obvious lesson, but as adults, we’re often tempted to “throw gravel” too. Online, there’s a lot of digital gravel we can fling around, things we say or do that might feel satisfying in the moment but end up making others uncomfortable.

How can authors get better at building genuine connections?

Steve: First, look for opportunities to meet people. Everyone has hobbies, jobs, or other activities they’re involved in, and it’s often the people you interact with during the course of your everyday life who provide those opportunities.

From there, it’s about engaging with them, talking, asking questions, and, most importantly, listening. Building relationships starts with intentionally seeking out these opportunities and being open to connecting with others.

Thomas: In some ways, people with the gift of gab are at a disadvantage because they’re really good at talking. But good networking is not about talking; it’s about listening. The better you listen, the more friends you make. If you want to make a friend, be a friend.

If you want people to listen to you, you need to listen to them first. Listening starts with learning to ask good questions. One thing that often makes authors feel insecure is not knowing what to say. But that’s the wrong mindset. In networking, the best thing you can do is ask good questions. A simple one to start with, especially when talking to other authors, is: “Can you tell me about your book?”

How do you know what questions to ask when you’re interacting with strangers?

Steve: If I were attending your Novel Marketing Conference, I would set a goal for how many people I wanted to meet at that conference. Then, I would try to build a network at the conference.

• Consider asking the following questions:
• What books do you write?
• What type of books do you write?
• What compelled you to attend the conference?
• What are you looking to get out of the conference?
• Where are you from?
• Do you have family back home?
• How did you get away?

You could ask so many questions that will drive a conversation, and then you sit back and listen. Many people make the mistake of thinking about what they want to ask next rather than focusing on what the person is telling them.

Make sure you’re truly listening to their answers to your questions.

Thomas: When I was first getting started in this business, I bought a lot of books about the publishing industry. One book I read was published in the nineties, and it had a section on conferences and tips. One tip it offered that I haven’t seen anywhere else was to reach out to the conference coordinators prior to the conference and see if they need help picking up faculty at the airport.

Picking up a faculty member from the airport transformed my career. That’s how I met Angela Hunt. She’s my most frequent guest on my other podcast, Christian Publishing Show, and one of my most frequent guests on Novel Marketing. I picked her up at the airport even though I had no idea who she was. Our conversation led to other conversations, and we’ve now been professional colleagues for over a decade. All it took was offering to pick up faculty at the airport.

Help at a Table

You might want to volunteer at the check-in table. This works for writers groups, conferences, or any event where attendees pick up name tags or check in. By greeting people, handing out badges, or pointing them in the right direction, you’ll get a chance to meet every single person attending. It’s a fantastic way to network and make your face memorable.

Questions & Answers

Another way to stand out and be memorable is by asking thoughtful questions during the Q&A sessions. I’ve found that people often recognize me afterward because of the questions I ask.

While it can be nerve-wracking, especially at larger events, asking good questions makes an impression. It can even lead to people approaching you later, saying things like, “I heard your question, and it reminded me of a book I’ve read,” or starting other meaningful conversations.

Steve: During the conference, take note of who’s asking questions and what they’re talking about, whether it’s their book or a specific topic. This can give you a great opportunity to approach them later, perhaps during a break or at the end of the day, to start a conversation by following up on what they mentioned.

Host a Table

Thomas: A unique feature of the Novel Marketing Conference is our lunch setup. We have tables hosted by people leading discussions on specific topics, such as email marketing, indie publishing, and more. Hosting a table doesn’t cost anything and is a great way to network. Even if you’re not hosting, simply joining a table is an excellent opportunity to connect with others. We’ve designed this to make networking as easy as possible for everyone.

Attend Social Outings

We’re also hosting a free patrons-only ice cream social the night before the conference starts. You don’t have to come to the conference to attend the ice cream social, but you do have to be a patron. It’s the ultimate networking event.

Networking at conferences is great, but most of our life is not spent at conferences.

Normally, we’re just networking with people in our daily lives.

What tips would you give to an introverted or shy author struggling to make friends and build influence?

Steve: I’m somewhat introverted myself. Whenever I take personality tests like Myers-Briggs, I tend to fall right in the middle. There are definitely times when I feel more introverted, and I can empathize with that experience.

First, I’d say the key is to focus on asking good questions and actively listening rather than putting pressure on yourself to be outgoing. It’s more important to think of thoughtful questions you can ask when you meet someone to get them talking. Start there.

I’d also suggest using the internet and social media, which offer excellent opportunities for networking. For example, when preparing for a sales meeting with a customer, we always research people beforehand. We check LinkedIn, Facebook, Instagram, and even Google. This can help you find common ground or relevant topics to connect over.

I’ve had similar experiences in your AuthorMedia.social communities for Book Launch Blueprint or Obscure No More. When I meet someone there, I’ll often look them up online to learn more about them. Platforms like LinkedIn or Facebook make it easier to identify shared interests and start meaningful conversations.

For example, there’s a gentleman named Mike, one of your active listeners, who I noticed is in the software space. He’s just releasing his first book, and we’ve become friends. We’ve connected several times outside of your network to talk about our books, compare notes, and talk about our families and shared experiences in the software industry.

The key is finding commonalities and asking questions that focus on the other person. When you identify shared interests, it becomes much easier to start a meaningful conversation.

Thomas: One of the things I love about my social network, AuthorMedia.social, is seeing authors connect, become friends, and eventually form their own writers groups. Many of these groups spin-off from AuthorMedia.social, with members setting up their own Discord servers or regular Zoom meetings.

It’s amazing to watch those connections grow. For example, an author might discover someone writing in a similar genre and say, “Why don’t we start trading manuscripts and encouraging each other?” Before long, they’ve built a great group of like-minded writers.

AuthorMedia.social makes it easy to connect. You can click on someone’s name, and often, their profile includes a link to their website. A big advantage of working with other authors is that most of them have websites, which often include links to all their social media.

How do you use LinkedIn as an author?

Steve: One of the things I love about LinkedIn is that it provides access to contact information for your connections. Unlike Facebook or Instagram, where you can connect with people but don’t have access to their phone numbers or email addresses, LinkedIn gives you that information once you’re connected. You can simply click on the “Contact Information” section of someone’s profile.

For example, with the Kickstarter I’m currently running, I’ve been able to leverage my LinkedIn network of about 6,200 connections. I’ve reached out to thousands of them directly, and having their contact information on LinkedIn has made that possible.

One of the great things about LinkedIn is that most people are willing to connect with you. Unlike Facebook or Instagram, where connections are usually limited to family, friends, or people you know well, LinkedIn is much more open. Many people will connect with you even if you’ve only met briefly—or sometimes not at all.

I’ve made it a habit to be disciplined about this. Whenever I meet someone, I send them a connection request on LinkedIn. If I can’t do it right away, I try to send requests at least once a day to anyone I’ve met. About 90% of the time, they accept. It’s an excellent way to build your network, and it also gives you access to their contact information.

LinkedIn also allows you to view a person’s activity, such as their posts or comments. You can see where they went to college, their past job history, and any mutual connections you have. This information makes it easy to identify commonalities and find ways to connect.

I’ve found LinkedIn to be an incredibly useful tool, especially for leveraging my network. It’s been a significant help with my Kickstarter.

Tell us the story of your Kickstarter campaign for your book Greatfruit.

Steve: I’ve listened to almost everything you’ve put out, except for the Kickstarter content. I had some misconceptions about Kickstarter and didn’t think it applied to me. Then, during an Obscure No More Q&A call, I asked a question, and you convinced me to give it a try. After that, I dove into your course.

The only piece of advice I didn’t follow was the goal you suggested for my campaign. You gave me a number, but I thought it was too low, so I set my goal at about six times that amount, but it was still about half of what I’d originally planned. I ended up hiring two friends; one recorded my video, and the other handled the editing. I spent some money on that, but it came together quickly. I listened to your entire course on a Saturday and got everything ready by Sunday. By Monday, I had put the video together.

It all came down to reaching out to my network. I sent a lot of individual emails, and some of the people who pledged really surprised me. For example, about 15 years ago, I interviewed for a job that I didn’t get. The company had two partners—one I hit it off with and the other I didn’t. I decided to email the one I hit it off with, even though I’d only met him twice 15 years ago. To my surprise, he bought a hardcover for $100.

Stories like that keep happening. My wife laughs and says, “Why would you reach out to someone from an interview who didn’t hire you and ask them to buy a book?” And my response is, “Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? He ignores me or says no.”

It’s been a crazy ride, but I’m so thankful. I love your work, and while I didn’t initially latch onto Kickstarter for various reasons, you convinced me to give it a shot. It’s been fantastic. We’re almost at $11,000 now, and I’m expecting a strong finish. I’m glad you talked me into doing it.

Thomas: Kickstarter is fantastic for engaging old friends, like people who would come to a wedding or baby shower. It’s great for getting them excited about your book. It works because you offer a range of options: a $10 level, a $20 level, and so on. You’re not asking everyone to support you at the $100 level for a limited-edition signed hardcover; you’re simply offering it as an option. You’d be amazed how many people choose those higher-tier options.

On average, most Kickstarters see backers contribute between $40 and $60. Compare that to sending someone a link to buy your book. Most would just buy the $5 ebook and stop there. With Kickstarter, they’re happy to give $40 or more because it feels more personal and engaging.

For your first Kickstarter, your supporters will mainly come from friends, family, and your personal network. The size of your network and the effort you put into one-on-one outreach directly impact its success.

Your second Kickstarter, however, will usually be supported by readers of your first book. Its success depends heavily on the quality of your first book and how well it sells. While some friends and family might back your second campaign, over time, your readers will become the main supporters of your future books if you continue using crowdfunding.

Kickstarter is a great way to leverage the gift economy. It feels different from asking someone to buy your book on Amazon, which can seem more commercial. Even though the prices on Kickstarter are often higher, the platform fosters a sense of support and connection that feels less transactional.

Steve: One other tool I’ve used for my Kickstarter is Google Contacts. Over the past three years, I’ve taken every one of my LinkedIn connections and entered them into Google Contacts. I’ve tagged each contact in Google Contacts based on how I know them or where we met, so I’ve got about 25 groups, such as “High School,” “Current Employer,” and “Previous Employer.”

That made my Kickstarter outreach much easier. I could write a tailored template for each group. For example, for my high school friends, I started with something like, “Hey, friends from high school! It’s been a long time.” The first paragraph would vary depending on the group, but the rest of the email was standardized. Using templates, I could quickly send personalized messages to 50 people at a time, which reduced some of the work for me.

How do you manage and keep up relationships over time?

Thomas: How do you manage those relationships and keep that connection vibrant? If you haven’t talked to somebody in 20 years, depending on how well they knew you from high school, they may say, “Who’s Steve?”

So, how do you keep those relationships warm over time?

Steve: I have a number of ways I keep in touch with people, and my wife and kids love to tease me about it. They think it’s funny that I still keep in touch with people I worked with briefly, even 20 years ago. But I genuinely enjoy staying connected and keeping in touch.

I think of my connections in circles. The closest circle includes family and very close friends, and it expands outward from there. For people in that inner circle, I’ll often pick up the phone and call. Social media, like Facebook, Instagram, or LinkedIn, is also a great tool for staying in touch. For instance, I might see a post and think, “Oh, I haven’t talked to Thomas in a while.” If it’s someone I’m very close with, I’ll call. If it’s someone I’m not as close to, I might send an email, a text, or even a quick message on social media.

Just this morning, on a flight home, I texted a friend I hadn’t spoken to in a while simply to check in. Social media is also a great reminder to reach out when someone shares life updates. For example, if they’ve been on a trip, I might ask, “How was your trip to Ireland?” Or, if they share something difficult, like a loss, I make a point to send condolences.

I choose how to connect based on the strength of the relationship and then decide whether to reach out through a phone call, an email, a text, or a message on social media.

Thomas: I love the idea of seeing what’s going on with social media but reaching out via a different form of communication. It feels much more special to get a text from someone saying, “Hey, I saw you had a new baby. Congratulations,” than to see that same message as a comment on a birth announcement post on social media. That small extra effort makes a big difference in the nature of the interaction.

Anyone can click “like” on a Facebook post, but sending a text or an email in response to a social media update signals something more meaningful. It says, “I’m not just a Facebook friend. I’m a real-life friend.”

What are some other tools that you use to bless your friends and your network?

Thomas: What are some tools or ways you use to bless your friends and network? It’s all about giving first. We want to be generous and kind without expecting anything in return or keeping score. It’s not about trying to get people to back your Kickstarter; it’s about genuinely caring for others. So, how can we do that?

Steve: You have to think about what you’re good at and what your strengths are. For me, having been in leadership roles for a long time, I’m good at helping people with their résumés and LinkedIn profiles, as well as advising on job searches and negotiating compensation.

For example, I recently met a local author here in Tampa, and we decided to grab coffee. Within 15 minutes, the conversation turned to my full-time job. He mentioned that his son had recently moved to LA and needed a job. I asked what his son was looking to do. Long story short, I ended up speaking with his son the following week. He was incredibly grateful, and before I even got home, the author had dropped off a signed copy of his book at my house to say thank you.

I always try to look for opportunities to help others, and I think that mindset naturally strengthens networking. By focusing on helping someone first, before asking for anything in return, you build meaningful and lasting connections.

Thomas: It’s important to find ways to help others that align with your strengths. For example, if you’re great at building websites, you can help people with their websites.

One of the best ways to do this, especially for authors, is to start a podcast focused on your genre. Then, invite other authors in your genre to be guests and promote their new books.

One member of my mastermind group recently did this, and now she’s on a first-name basis with many of the top authors in her genre. If you reach out to an author as just a fan, they may not respond. But if you reach out as a podcaster saying, “I host a podcast about our genre. Would you like to be a guest?” they almost always say yes. If you time it when they’re launching a new book and contact their publicist, it’s even better. Publicists are often eager to find podcasts for their authors and may encourage even big-name authors to guest on your show.

Hosting a podcast gives you an excellent opportunity to promote their work while building relationships. Oftentimes, you’ll have casual chit-chat before and after the recording, which allows you to connect with them on a more personal level. This positions you as a generous author in your genre, as you help them promote their book and build your reputation.

You can start this long before publishing your own book, as most niche genres still don’t have dedicated podcasts. For instance, while there may be a podcast for romance, is there one for historical romance or Roman historical fiction romance? Probably not. Even if your subgenre already has a podcast, most subgenres can support multiple shows, and podcast hosts can cross-promote each other’s work.

Podcasting is a fantastic networking tool that allows you to be generous toward your fellow authors. Everyone wants to be a guest, but few are willing to take on the role of host. By hosting, you become the one offering the gift of exposure. It’s also cost-effective; while you might spend a bit on editing, it’s a high-value, high-leverage way to connect with others, build your network, and establish yourself in your genre.

How can authors improve their networking even if they live in a small town and have a small network?

Thomas: What advice would you give to someone in a small town who feels stuck because they only know people who don’t read or aren’t in the publishing industry?

Steve: Try to make expanding your network fun.

First, remember that everyone who is close to you now, like your friends, colleagues, or acquaintances, once started as someone you didn’t know. There may have been some initial awkwardness, but you worked through it. Keeping that mindset can help you feel more comfortable reaching out to new people.

Second, think about how you can help others. You mentioned that hosting a podcast and featuring other authors is a great way to connect. I’ve built a network of about 35 authors simply by reaching out to them, and I even found my editor this way. I started by researching books in my genre, identifying authors, and sending them a short, thoughtful message. I’d say, “I’m writing my first book about overcoming adversity, inspired by my experience with cancer. I’d love to pick your brain and get some guidance.”

To my surprise, I’ve connected with people I thought were out of reach, including three former NFL players. Two of them have become friends, and one reaches out to me regularly. It all began because I connected with them over shared stories of overcoming adversity.

The authors in my network all have websites where you can learn more about them. Many are looking for public speaking opportunities, so I’ve tried to help by referring them. One author even secured a paid speaking engagement at my company, where they delivered a motivational webinar. That connection has grown into a friendship.

When I first called him, my mindset was, “How can I help him?” Even though he’s a former NFL player with a larger network than mine, I approached the relationship with a willingness to help.

Thomas: Famous people are just people, and most of them aren’t famous all the time or everywhere. Their fame is usually limited to a specific context. For example, a football player might be well-known in the sports world, but many people wouldn’t recognize them at the grocery store, especially if they’re not one of the superstars. Even in their sport, many players wear helmets throughout the game, so few people know what they actually look like.

Treating famous people like regular people, rather than idolizing them, is beneficial for everyone. It helps avoid unhealthy hero worship, and it provides them an opportunity to have normal friendships. The more you treat them like an ordinary person, the more likely they are to do the same for you.

There’s an unusual parable in the Bible that offers a great lesson on networking, and I think about it often. In this parable, a steward—essentially the CEO of a company in the ancient world—has been caught embezzling from his master. When the master finds out, he fires the steward and tells him to get his affairs in order.

Facing the loss of his position, the steward thinks to himself, “I don’t want to beg, and I don’t want to dig ditches. What should I do?” So, he comes up with a plan. He goes to everyone who owes his master money and reduces their debts. By doing favors for all these people, he ensures that they’ll feel inclined to return the favor once he’s out of a job.

We have an innate sense of justice. If somebody slaps you on the face, you want to slap them back, but if someone does you kindness, you want to repay them with kindness. If you’re a generous person doing lots of kind things for the people around you, they’re going to want to show kindness to you if they get the chance.

In the parable, Jesus talks about how the steward was commended for his shrewdness, saying, “For the children of darkness are more shrewd than the children of light.”

It’s a very interesting parable. I encourage you to read it. It has befuddled many people, and it might shake your view of Jesus a little bit if you only have the Sunday school version of him in your head.

Being kind and blessing others is just the first step. The second step is asking. Steve, this is something you do well. You don’t remind people of the kindness you’ve shown; you’re simply a generous person. Then, when it’s time, you say, “Hey, I’ve got a Kickstarter for my new book. Here’s what it’s about. Would you be interested in backing it?”

It’s entirely up to them whether they reciprocate, but that attitude of generosity, blessing others first, and trusting that what goes around comes around often works in your favor. People naturally respond in kind. If you do good for others, they’re inclined to do good for you.

If you want to make a friend, be a friend. Be kind to the other kids on the playscape. Be kind to other authors. Look for ways to bless them that align with your strengths.

Maybe you’re really organized, and you can bless people by hosting an event. Or maybe you’re a detail person, so you host a book festival and invite other authors to come and promote their books. Perhaps you’re a good editor, and you can trade editing services, or if you’re tech-savvy, maybe you can build websites or do graphic design for others. Think of the many ways you can bless people and develop those skills. Be generous to others, and they will want to be generous to you.

Do you have any final tips or encouragement for shy or hesitant authors?

Make it fun and make it a discipline. Do it on a daily basis and look for people to meet. Focus on getting to know the other person by asking good questions. It removes the pressure of having to think about what you’re going to say, and it gets them talking.

Look for people to meet everywhere you go, and maybe use Google Contacts and LinkedIn to capture that information. Over time, you’ll have built a network.

Thomas: As you meet people, make it a priority to follow up with them. When you exchange business cards at an event, don’t let them sit in a pile and collect dust. Instead, plan ahead. Before the event, schedule time on your calendar for follow-up afterward. Label it as “Follow-Up Day.”

When you get back from the event, take your stack of business cards and bookmarks from fellow authors and start reaching out. Send a quick email saying, “Hey, Steve, it was great meeting you at the conference! I’m excited to hear more about your upcoming book.”

These follow-up emails are quick to write and incredibly effective. Most people won’t do anything with the business card you hand them, but they’re much more likely to respond to a personal email. Be the one to initiate the connection.

We live in an era where people have fewer friends than ever before. Surveys consistently show this trend. That means most people you reach out to genuinely want to hear from a human. They’re spending too much time scrolling on their phones and not enough time connecting with others.

So, be the one who changes that. Reach out, follow up with those cards, and reconnect with old friends. You’ll be amazed at how much people appreciate the effort and how eager they are to interact with someone who genuinely wants to connect.

Connect with Steve Garraty

• SteveGarraty.com
• Book: Greatfruit: How Cancer Led to Living a More Fruitful Life (Affiliate Link)
• Steve’s Kickstarter

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